Post Marathon Thoughts

This has become my life since August. Waking up almost every Sunday when it’s still dark. Sleeping early on Saturday nights, leaving functions early. I remember running my first half marathon two years ago and being so miserable after. The thought of running more felt crazy. Now I was running half marathons nearly every Sunday. Who am I?

I’ve been struggling with the long runs leading up to this. It took me a couple days before the race to realize that I was ready for this. Even if it wasn’t performance wise, it was at least knowing how it was going to feel. I knew I was going to finish. I could easily picture it.

But even then, no amount of training could prepare me for the loss of our little one. The day before the marathon, our family went through one of the hardest things, putting down our beloved Emile. I’ll make a post about it later.

And that was all I could think about. Even when I picked up my bib, I was constantly breaking down throughout the day. But I remained locked in. I cried. I fueled. I rested.

The morning of, I made coffee and added sugar my grandma sent me, made from her sugar canes in Morelos. I made toast and added honey, also made and brought over from Morelos. I was fueled by my culture.

I ran this marathon heartbroken. But I knew it would help me grieve, remember, and celebrate. I broke down during the run, but I kept going. Miles 20 to 21 cut through the neighborhood I was raised in, where my parents were waiting for me. It hasn’t been easy for them either, so I was really happy they came out to see me.

I crossed the finish line and all the emotions came at once. I processed so much during the run and finally let it all out. I was just thankful I was surrounded by friends and family.

This run is for you, Emile. Thank you for pushing me to the end.

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Thank you to everyone who came out and supported me through this entire process. And thanks to the boys at @animorunning for giving me the push to sign up and start training for this. It’s had a huge impact being surrounded by a group that continues to push themselves to be greater.

I ended up doing way better than I expected. The foundation is set. It's only up from here.